Beyond words.

I am an optimist. That might not be the first thing people think of when they picture me, but I know deep down in the dark dank depths of my little soul, I am. I want so badly to think that people are truly good at heart. (I sound like Anne Frank or something....) And every once in a while, this thought clouds my better judgment and I get slammed to the ground by my naiveté. Each time, I get up, brush myself off, and honestly, am amazed at what just hit me. Why am I always surprised? Because I want people to be good. I want to be liked. I want the world to be a happy place, but I know that's not to be.

Evil is all around us, and sometimes good people get caught up in it. And then, some people are just mean. I truly believe there are people out there that live and breathe to cause problems in others' lives. They feed off of it and are encouraged by seeing others suffer. And don't let them fool you - they know EXACTLY what they are doing. I've been burned enough to know it doesn't have to have red horns, a tail, and a pitchfork to be a bad thing.

I am trying so hard to be a good and positive person. I have an accountability partner now. We work together to make sure that we are constantly encouraging and lifting up those around us. You know...if you don't have anything good to say, don't say it??? We are really trying to rid our lives of the negative, and work toward the positive. I know we have a long way to go...but it's so difficult when people are constantly beating you down. It's infinitely more difficult to get over it when you are hurt by someone you thought you could trust.

Oh well...I know it's a vicious cycle. I will get over it in time and be caught back up in it again before I know it. How's that for optimism? :/

Sad. :(

Soooo....I got a call this morning that my in-laws dog had died. She was a great dog - a Rhodesian Ridgeback mix - very friendly, protective, loyal. She was always there to greet you when you pulled in the driveway. She wasn't a spoiled house dog - quite the opposite actually. She was a farm dog who lived outside, ate small furry creatures, and enjoyed every moment of it.

At first it was surprising to me that my M-I-L was so upset by her passing. (I wouldn't exactly classify Karen as an animal lover, bless her heart.) But this dog WAS a part of her life, and was there to meet her every single day she walked out of her house and when she came back home. It might sound silly, but please pray for them right now. It IS sad, even if she was a dog.

Which brings me to my thought of the day - will there be animals in heaven? My tender heart sure hopes so. I can't imagine not having them around...but the Lord only knows. I do get some comfort from this scripture:

"The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, but dust will be the serpent's food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain," says the LORD." Isaiah 65:25

So this is for Princess - bless her little heart. Hopefully I'll see you again someday. :)

I have added a link to a poem by Jimmy Stewart, called "Beau". It always makes me cry, and I feel it's fitting for today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUNJjIwlHk8

Thank You.

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) by Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood
His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood
His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

It's all about timing.

Something happened this morning (I'd rather not go into details,) that really put a damper on my unusually chipper Friday morning. As many close to me know, I'm not the world's most patient person, so it's difficult for me to yield my plans and goals to what the Lord has in store for me. I get so wrapped up in the little cocoon I've created for myself and how I think my life should progress that I completely forget that I'm not in control of it. Well, did I have a big wake up call this morning! It really humbled me and reminded me of the following scriptures:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? - Matthew 6: 25-26

Meditating on these simple, straightforward passages throughout the day slowly brought me out of my funk. I realize that I may never achieve or have all of the things I want for me, but that God has things in store for me that are so much greater than I can even imagine. All I have to do is wait on Him.

Food for thought...

Read this last night in the book "Velvet Elvis" from Rob Bell, and it really has me thinking. I think there is real truth in this statement:

Often the person with spiritual convictions is seen as close-minded and others are seen as open-minded. What is fascinating to me is that at the center of the Christian faith is the assumption that this life isn't all there is. That there is more to life than the material. That existence is not limited to what we can see, touch, measure, taste, hear, and observe. One of the central assertions of the Christian worldview is that there is "more". Those who oppose this insist that this is all there is, that only what we can measure and observe and see with our eyes is real. There is nothing else. Which perspective is more "closed-minded"? Which perspective is more "open"?

25 Randoms

I was tagged on Facebook, but also thought I'd share here:

1. I love the smell of spearmint gum. It reminds me of my grandmother.
2. The song "How Great Thou Art" always makes me cry.
3. I want to visit Poland and see where my great-grandparents were from.
4. My first career aspiration (at age 4) was to be a truck driver.
5. I hate the word "moist".
6. The thought of eating wild game (elk, deer, duck) creeps me out. Chronic Wasting Disease, anyone?
7. I am very picky about what I drive.
8. I kinda dig bluegrass music.
9. I want one more tattoo. Then I'm done.
10. I love fresh air and can't wait for spring so I can open the windows in my house and let it breeze through.
11. I hate spaghetti. Blech!
12. I love Twizzlers and can do major damage to a package in one sitting.
13. I like to explore. I often will take a drive alone to check out a new area.
14. I am addicted to Coca-Cola. (Trying to break the habit, though.)
15. I have to button and zip all pants before putting them in the closet. Also, all clothes in my closet have to be on white plastic hangers.
16. I hate to be late to anything. It stresses me out.
17. I love giraffes.
18. My favorite movie is "The Shawshank Redemption".
19. I love watching hockey live. I can't stand watching it on TV.
20. I will always stop what I'm doing to watch a Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan movie. I don't know why - I don't even really like those girls.
21. I am still, and will always be, a daddy's girl.
22. I want to learn to play the banjo.
23. I love the song "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel.
24. My favorite place to visit is NYC. I can't wait to go back again.
25. I hate killing bugs. I hate the crunching sound and the thought of killing something. I will go to extraordinary lengths to trap/catch it and take it outside.

God's amazing light in the darkness.

It was mentioned to me a few weeks ago that the way I live my life may have been a small influence in someone's quest to re-connect with God. This individual is a co-worker and dear friend whom I care for very much.

It was amazing to hear that even at a place where I feel I'm oftentimes the WORST possible witness, where I get caught up in the day-to-day grumblings, gossip, and troubles of this world, that somewhere in me someone saw even the slightest bit of a glimmer of that hope that God provides. It's just a reminder that God can work through a terribly average, flawed person to reveal Himself. It's a humbling, terrifying, and reassuring thought to know my Creator touches others through me in ways I can't even see.

I'm glad to know that my life does reflect God's purposes and that I can have a positive impact on others in their relationships with Jesus.

Please pray for my friend that she may find what she is looking for, and that she will continue to grow in the Lord. I'm so honored to be even the smallest little puzzle piece in her journey. He has so many wonderful things in store for all of us, if only we are willing to seek Him!